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Titus 2:1, 3-5

Since this is Mother’s Day, I want us to consider what Paul has to say to Titus about mothers. So, let me invite you to take your copy of God’s Word and turn with me to Paul’s little letter to Titus. It’s after 2 Timothy, and just before Philemon. As you’re finding it, let me read to you the quintessential job description for motherhood.

POSITION/TITLE: Mother, Mom, Mama

JOB DESCRIPTION: Long-term team players needed, for challenging permanent work, in an often-chaotic environment. Candidates must possess excellent communication and organizational skills and be willing to work variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends and frequent 24-hour shifts on call. Some overnight travel required – including trips to primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and endless sports tournaments in far away cities. Travel expenses not reimbursed. Extensive courier duties are also required; frequently, on very short notice.

RESPONSIBILITIES: Must provide on-the-site training in basic life skills such as nose-blowing. Must have strong skills in negotiating conflict resolution and crisis management, the ability to suture minor flesh wounds is a plus. Must be able to think outside the box but not lose track of the box, because you will most likely need it for a school project. Must reconcile petty cash disbursements and be proficient in managing budgets and financial disputes fairly unless you want to hear, “He got more than I did,” the rest of your life. Also, must be able to drive motor vehicles safely under loud and adverse conditions, while simultaneously practicing the abovementioned skills in conflict resolution. Must be able to choose your battles and stick to your guns. Must be able to stand criticism such as, “You don’t know anything.” Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily, until someone needs $5. Must be willing to bite your tongue repeatedly. Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat – in case, this time, the screams from the backyard are not someone just crying wolf. Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges, such as small gadget repair, mysteriously sluggish toilets and stuck zippers. Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and coordinate production of multiple homework projects. Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks. Must be willing to be indispensable one minute and an embarrassment the next. Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery-operated devices. Must have diverse knowledge base so as to answer questions such as, “What makes the wind move.” Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst. Must assume final complete accountability for the quality of the end product. Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and janitorial work throughout the facility.

POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION: Virtually none. Your job is to remain in the same position for years, without complaining, constantly retraining and updating your skills, so that those in your charge can ultimately surpass you.

PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE: None required, unfortunately. On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.

WAGES AND COMPENSATION: You pay them! Offering frequent raises and bonuses. A balloon payment is due when they turn 18, because of the assumption that college will help them become financially independent. When you die, you give them whatever is left. The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.

BENEFITS: No health or dental insurance, no pension, no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and no stock options are offered – however, this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth and free hugs for life, if you play your cards right.

Hopefully, you’ve located Titus 2:1, 3-5. I’m going to begin with the first verse, “You must teach what is in accord with sound doctrine… Likewise, teach the older women to be reverent in the way they live, not to be slanderers or addicted to much wine, but to teach what is good. Then they can train the younger women to love their husbands and children, to be self-controlled and pure, to be busy at home, to be kind and to be subject to their husbands, so that no one will malign the word of God.”

“Father, as we have sought to worship You this morning in spirit and truth, we now turn to Your Word and ask that You speak to us through it. Would the Holy Spirit match our needs to Your truth, and grant that as we leave this morning, we would walk out of here having communed with the living God, and Jesus Christ, Your only Son, whom You sent to be our Savior, Lord and Friend. It’s in His name that we pray, amen.”

The first question we have to address when studying this text is how to define older and younger women? The ladies all smile, waiting anxiously to see how the preacher is going to approach the matter, and the men all cringe thinking, “He’s a fool.” There are two ways that I believe we can determine this:

1. Ladies, if the group of girlfriends that you hang out with is predominately younger, then you’re an older woman. But if the group of girlfriends that you associate with is mostly older, then you’re likely a younger woman. (You say, “Well, what if my girlfriends are all about the same age? Then what?” Well, consider yourself middle-aged.)
2. On a more serious note, based on Paul’s letter to Titus, it appears that we could define older women as those who have lived out their primary child rearing years, and younger women as those who are still mothers or have the potential to be mothers.

That’s about as close as I’m going to get to answering this question. Let’s look at the older women first.

Grandmothers Make “Grand Mothers”

Paul says that they should be reverent. I translated it as godly. Take the English understanding of the word “temple” and put it together with the English understanding of the word “behavior” and you get the idea behind the Greek word for “reverent.” In other words, there was supposed to be some correspondence between the outward appearance and the inward attitude. We experience this all the time when we order things online. You go to your favorite online store; you find something that you like, and you order it. A few days later, a package arrives, and you open it up with the confidence that what’s inside is what you ordered. That’s the concept of reverence. Older women are steady, they’re admirable. Their lives demonstrate what’s in their heart.

Second, he calls them not to be slanderers. Now this clearly has to do with our speech. And most of us recognize that when we speak, we can either build up or we can tear down. It looks to me like Paul is encouraging them to build people up. I’m reminded of James 3:9 that says, “With the tongue we praise our Lord and Father, and with it we curse men who have been made in God’s likeness.” Paul says, as an older woman you should be careful to have positive speech.

Third, they should not be addicted to much wine. I wrote the word disciplined down. Now I know what you’re thinking. You’re thinking that I’m going to focus on the drinking, but not so. I think the issue Paul was concerned about was addiction. People that have addictive behavioral issues are held captive by something outside of themselves. Addictions rob us of so much. Addictions don’t just negatively affect the people that have them, but everyone that person has a relationship with. I believe Paul is encouraging a life that has order, routine, and discipline.

Finally, they should teach (the younger) what is good. Now there are several ways to teach, but the word that’s used here is not the classroom word for teaching. What’s used here is a word that conveys counseling, modeling, mentoring. These women know that they have learned much in their journey and it’s up to them to pass along these lessons to the next generation. She is wise, winsome and relationally approachable. According to Paul, the profile for older women is that they should encourage and mentor the next generation of women in successful family life, which sounds a lot like what E.F. Brown, a psychologist, wrote. He said, “Older women play a very important part in society. How large a part one doesn’t realize until one witnesses a social life from which they have been absent. Kindly grandmothers are the natural advisors of the young of both sexes.”

I found a description of a grandmother by a 5-year-old boy and thought it fitting. He says:

A grandmother is a lady who has no children of her own. She loves other people’s little boys and girls. Grandmothers don’t have anything to do but be there. They’re old, so they shouldn’t play hard or run. It’s enough if they drive us to the market where there are pretend horses as long as they have lots of quarters. Or if they take us for walks, they should slow down for caterpillars and pretty leaves. They should never say hurry up. Usually grandmothers are fat, but not too fat to tie your shoes. They wear glasses and funny underwear. They can take their teeth off. Grandmothers don’t have to be smart; they only have to answer questions like, “Why isn’t God married and how come dogs chase cats?” Grandmothers don’t talk baby talk to you like strangers do, because it’s too hard to understand. And when they read to us, they don’t skip or mind if they read the same story over and over again. Everybody should have a grandmother, especially if they don’t have television, because they’re the only grownups who seem to have time.

Paul says there’s a place – a needed place – for older women in the Christian community. And I have been blessed, and continue to be blessed, by many a “grand mother” in our church. Women of Mountain Hill, thank you for being a mother to your pastor.

“Grand Mothers” Become Mighty Moms

The second half of the equation is for the younger women. They’re being trained to love their husbands and children. There are several words for love that Paul could have chosen but the one he chose was the demonstrative one. They’re to demonstrate love.

Harvard’s Preschool Dept. completed a study on children and moms. They published those results in a book called The Origins of Human Competence by Burton L. White. I’m not going to go into detail about their results except to say that they discovered what the church has been saying for centuries and that’s simply that there’s no substitute for moms and the special kind of love they demonstrate. These results can be found time and time again. And I know that this subject can be very difficult and sensitive, especially for those of you that may have never had children. Paul urges the younger women to love their children and their husbands. Moms, you mean more to your children, your husband, and your families than you’ll ever know.

Next, Paul tells them to be self-controlled and pure. The word used here means sensible.

Third, he wants them to be busy at home. According to some studies, this number is on the rise. There are more and more women who are choosing to leave their professional careers to make the home their number one priority. This doesn’t mean that they’re leaving secular jobs just to hang out at home. I like 1 Timothy 5 where Paul talks about women managing the home. Of course, in those days, a woman had to be able to go to the market and bid on a goat and bring it home, kill it, skin it, and cook it. Aren’t you glad you don’t have to do that anymore? But in some ways, it’s just as difficult and the term managing fits our world. Moms have to juggle the schedules of their kids, schoolwork, practices, games, Dr. appointments, washing clothes, cooking, and in some cases even their husband’s schedules. And I think that’s what Paul is saying to these young women – your number one priority and challenge is your home, you kids, your husband.

Fourth, he asks them to be kind. This is a fascinating idea. It means to excel, to shine, to surpass expectation. They’re to be warm, inviting, and outgoing. Their house is the house in the neighborhood where all the kids gather.

I’m reminded of my years at The Citadel. One of my dad’s classmates, Glenn Lister and his wife Jane were like that. They had 2 sons – the oldest was a year ahead of me at The Citadel and the youngest was a year behind. They lived in Mount Pleasant and were very active with FCA on campus, which was one of the few student organizations that were allowed to combine its meeting with the College of Charleston. Through FCA and due to the fact Glenn was my dad’s classmate, I got to know the Listers really well and went to their house several times. It was always occupied by college kids and other youth, none of whom were their children. People freely came and went, at all hours of the day and night, and we made ourselves at home – eating from the pantry and grabbing drinks from the fridge. I believe that’s the picture that Paul desires to see.

Lastly, she is subject to her own husband. There’s no passivity, there’s no dominance here. They’re a team – she’s her husband’s joy, his friend, his partner. She’s making a deep and lasting impact by creating the wholesome and sheltering environment of a Christian home for her family. The more I thought about it, the more I realized that this job is the most selfless position that a woman could aspire to have. Philippians 2 reminds us to have the mind of Christ and put other people before ourselves and this is most certainly true of our moms. They’re always putting our interests ahead of their own.

There’s a wonderful Spanish proverb that says, “An ounce of mom is better than a pound of priest.” If the culture around you, the society you see, the world that you live in seems to taste bad, then it’s probably because we’ve changed the recipe and substituted something for the place and honor of mom.

Gospel Message On Display

As I conclude this morning, I don’t want us to miss something very important. If you still have your Bibles open, then I want you to notice that Paul writes to Titus about 3 groups of people in this chapter. We’ve obviously been focusing on the women today, but Paul also addresses older men, younger men and slaves. After addressing each group, Paul gives them (and us) the reason for his teaching, and the reasons given aren’t solely for the group he just finished speaking to, but for all of us.

Look at the endings of verses 5, 8 and 10. Each of those verses end with the phrase “so that” or “in order that” or “for the purpose that” . . . “so that no one will malign the word of God.” (v. 5), “so that those who oppose you may be ashamed because they have nothing bad to say about us.” (v. 8), and “so that in every way they will make the teaching about God our Savior attractive.” (v. 10).

The point is this; as God’s representatives, we make the gospel message of His salvation and love attractive or disreputable by the way we live. Like it or not, God has, in His mysterious sovereignty, placed upon you and me the responsibility of living in a manner worthy of the name of Jesus Christ. We are co-laborers, in a sense, with the Holy Spirit in drawing people to faith in Christ. I didn’t say that we save people from their sins. Only the Savior can do that. However, we are witnesses and examples of what can happen to a sinner when the Savior comes into the heart and changes a life.

People are in desperate need of seeing a true demonstration of God’s nature. People long to see those who live according to their creeds, people who rise above common failures and demonstrate that life need not be abandoned to futility and self-gratification. Deep in their souls, the unbelieving world watches Christians, hoping to find someone whose life and message match.

The answer lies in our being a people unashamed of truth, pure in behavior, and thoroughly consumed with love for others. Society needs to witness a community made up of rich and poor, old and young, minorities and whites, liberals and conservatives – people who form a community as diverse as society, yet who aren’t threatened by their differences because they’re united by someone larger than themselves – Jesus Christ. It’s for Him that we seek to be good mothers and fathers and children.